a slow start

Well, so far I haven't gotten off to a great start on this blog. See, I'm trying to figure out the direction this will take. I'm not a musical scholar, that's for sure. For someone who loves music, it is never more humbling to join in with a friend's band and have them ask "do you know "XXX" song?" and I have to answer "no".

This has happened more than twice to me. First was when I was going to do some gigs with my bluegrass buddy, Del, and his band "Timberline". I am a quick learner, but every time they asked if I knew a certain song, I had to hang my head and say "no".

This also happened once when I came to another friend's band practice one Saturday afternoon to sit in with them and maybe sing a song or two. This was not a bluegrass band (and to be fair, until I met my friend Del in church choir, I hadn't spent much time listening to bluegrass), but they played more classic rock and such. I quickly brushed up on my Bonnie Raitt songs in the car on the way over, and wouldn't you know, the only song of hers that they know was one I had never heard of.

And now I must admit, most humbling of all is when I am singing with my friend Peggy. She does a weekly little church service at the Alzheimer's ward at the local nursing home and sometimes I come sing for that. I used to sing with Peggy and try to help her get a music ministry off the ground at our former church. Whenever she says "oh, we should sing this song...do you know this one?" and I, being a Christian now for well over 15 years, and being in music ministry for about 12 of those years, have to answer "no", with my head hung even a little lower. I mean, what kind of Christian gal in music ministry doesn't even know some basic hymns or contemporary music? Me, that's who.

I'm sorry but I just can't listen to K-Love all the time. I have tried, and frankly, i just don't enjoy it because it is mostly songs I simply don't know. I have my few Christian artists who's voices are in the same range as mine, and when I have to (get to) sing a solo at church, I usually go to Itunes and do a search for their name. You can only hear 30 seconds of a song before you commit to buying, so I usually say a little prayer before I click, and ask God to just show me if this is a song that someone out there needs to hear and then I buy the one that "feels" right to me.

I know, we don't live by feelings (that's a whole 'nother post), but sometimes you just get a feeling of peace and calm and you know that somehow God is going to use this song in the big tapestry of life to touch someone else's life. The coolest thing to me is that I won't even be aware of how a song I've sung has reached into someone's soul and given them something they were desperate for. But someday maybe the Lord will let me have a peek at an inkling of the seeds that were planted. That's not for me to worry about right now, though. Because I feel that if I were to try to keep track of that, it would lead to pride, and that is just not where I'm at.

That "being a part of something so much bigger than me" is a huge reason I drive over an hour each way to our awesome church in Frisco, CO to sing with the church choir there at Christmas time. Yes, the songs are beautiful, and they really reach hundreds of people, some of whom just happened to walk by the church and hear music. But it is SO much more than that. Every time I am singing during a Christmas program performance, I look out at the congregation and just wonder who is out there that NEEDS to hear the words of a particular song. It is so amazing to me to just be a part of the alto section in a choir (led by an awesome, and humble choir director Tommy) that is doing something that could change someone's entire life.

But the COOLEST thing is to sing down in Buena Vista at the prison. To sing in one of the darkest, most forgotten corners of the world, and bring light and hope to prisoners is my passion. It is "Christmas" to me. People think I'm NUTS, they don't understand why on earth some white bread mom of 3 would want to go to a scary place like a prison, or why on earth would I put 150 miles on my car (that has just rolled to 200,000 miles!) each Sunday in October, November and December for rehearsals. I really cannot articulate an answer for them. I just shrug and say "it blesses me". Maybe that is selfish, I hope not. It blesses me because it is bringing something tangible and hopeful to someone who is searching for meaning.

I'll prattle more about it later but for now, it is time to get my boys some haircuts. And now that they all have their own IPods, I can listen to MY music on the car radio. Today I'm feeling like some Eva Cassidy. I haven't heard her in a long time. It's all been about Christmas music lately. If you have never heard of Eva, you must check her out. Sadly, she is no longer with us, she died of melanoma in 1996. But her music lives on. If you want to hear what an angel sounds like, you must listen to her voice.


Eph 5:19-20 - "Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ"